Forgetting is not easy. The more I try to forget, the more I remember. This difficulty of forgetting is apparently a part of the human experience and defense mechanism. When something or someone has a negative impact in my life, it is natural to try to avoid a repetition.
I have been reminded of this truth several times in the past few months. Regardless of how much I individually and personally may want to forgive someone and forget the past, others who have been hurt much more deeply than I have keep the memory alive.
Lessons:
While I seek forgiveness and restored relationship even at a minimal level, others see only the possibility of danger and more hurt.
When others have been hurt, I cannot rush the process by which others forget the past and restore relationship.
I cannot force other people to forget.
My efforts at peace-making may have an effect opposite to what I intend–my efforts may cause others to remember rather than to forget. Peace-making sometimes stirs up trouble rather than eliminating it.
When hurts run deep and suspicion runs high, people remember a long time.
Forgetting is never forced, it must be natural. The more I try to forget, the more I remember. One must never forget how hard it is to forget.
