Less than Comfortable

It makes me a bit uncomfortable to admit it, but the idea of walking with Jesus sometimes makes me uncomfortable. His presence in my life can be quite demanding, even overwhelming. It is tempting (and easy) to run from the full implications of his presence. It is tempting to settle for a watered down version of discipleship–less demanding, but also less fulfilling. Still, the idea of depending on him to provide rather than providing for myself and my family flies in the face of what I have thought throughout my life.

The struggle lessens as I age (mature?), but it is still present. It turns out that the tame version of Christianity and the relatively impotent version of Jesus that has been passed down in my religious heritage through the years is quite different that the Jesus I have come to know. I guess we have to package him to sell him, but often the packaged version is not very much fun, very appealing or desirable, or very helpful in life. The packaged version is too impersonal. Jesus is not something you take or leave, purchase or not. Jesus is a person–not to be bought or sold. Relationship with Jesus is demanding–thus my discomfort. He calls on the carpet, he challenges, he reprimands, he disciplines, he comforts, he assures. Look for Jesus in your life today, and make a list of the ways he acts in your life, the things he does. If you look closely, you will have a long list by the end of the day, and your heart will fill with gratitude and wonder at his presence. Quite different is this Jesus who steps out of Scripture to walk through this world at our side.