Changing our viewpoint

I have been restudying Romans 14-15 in preparation for a mission trip later this month.
How do we learn to bless, rather than criticize and judge, those with whom we disagree? How do we learn to accept and love, rather than despise and arrogantly look down on, those who criticize us? How do we overcome the broken relationships that come when people deal with others out of fear? How do we deal with those who are different?
Romans 14 says all shall stand before the throne of God and that each will stand or fall according to the will of that one’s master. Our task is not to settle every disputable matter. Ours is not to determine the final destiny of others. We have our hands full with our own destiny.
What is is about us that makes it more popular among some to look for hell rather than heaven? What is about us that makes it more popular among others to focus on heaven and ignore hell? Both are a kind of blasphemy, for we are called to live in reverent hope that honors the complete nature of God–his holiness and purity, righteousness and justice, love and mercy.