We have quoted John 13 for so long that we have forgotten, or at least ignored, Jesus’ statement about the Great Commandments (Matthew 22:34-40 and parallels).
We have heard John 13 say what we wanted it to say. Is it possible that Jesus is saying the mark of love is in extent, not only in its existence. “That you love one another as I have loved you.” We can affirm the existence of love, even when it is not clearly demonstrated. As Paul writes in Romans 5, the extent of love is a constant challenge. Past church history may give us examples of extreme self-sacrificing love, but modern church history is hardly permeated with such stories–in fact, such are few and far between.
We have heard John 13 in isolation. The result is that we have a singular definition of church which is flawed. This flawed definition (just love everybody!) has flavored our understanding and expectation of church and has done great damage. We have defined mission by love (relieving physical suffering) and failed to confront spiritual need. We have become so accepting (tolerant) in the church that we are afraid to offend anyone for the gospel’s sake. We have drawn people by physical means more than spiritual, and have fallen into the same trap as the militant Messiah-expecting Jews to whom Jesus speaks in John 6. The kingdom is not primarily about manna and meeting physical needs.
Jesus says that loving God is first. Loving neighbor is encompassed in loving God. Genuine love for neighbor is not possible apart from love for God. God’s love for us defines neighborly love (and brotherly love). Read 1 John again. Connecting with God is first. When we are solidly connected with God, we will be connected with others who are connected with God. If we are not God-connected, every little problem and disagreement will separate us.
One author describes the difference in this way: loving God is a treasure hunt, loving neighbor is a rescue mission. Here is gospel: Jesus came on a rescue mission (Luke 19:10). We are on a treasure hunt, and when we find the treasure, we share the good news! Such is natural and normal. We cannot contain ourselves.
Pray that we might understand, seek, and find the true nature of this biblical love.