bits from bob....

Recall Announced

edited and posted by Robert J. Young
©, 2003, Robert J. Young
[the following has been edited and rewritten from an anonymous e-mail; permission is given to reprint with credit noted]

The Maker of all human beings is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to the serious defect in the primary and central HEART component.

This is due to a willful malfunction in the original prototype server units, code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units.

This defect has been technically termed, "Sub-sequential Internal Non-morality," more commonly known as SIN. Symptoms include: [a] Loss of direction, [b] Foul vocal emissions, [c] Amnesia of origin, [d] Lack of peace and joy, [e] Selfish or violent behavior, [f] Depression or confusion in the mental component, [g] Fearfulness, [h] Idolatry, and [i] Rebellion.

The Manufacturer, Who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is providing factory authorized repair and service free of charge to correct the SIN defect.

The Repair Technician, Jesus, has generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. There is no additional cost. The toll free number to call for repair in all areas is: 1-800-PRAYNOW. Once connected, please upload your SIN files using the AC/:2:38 procedure. The uploading procedure is the only way to effectively delete these files from your system. This will enable you to download the ATONEMENT fix. Make certain you place it in the heart component. Jesus will then replace the SIN defect with: [a] Love, [b] Joy, [c] Peace, [d] Patience, [e] Kindness, [f] Goodness, [g] Faithfulness, [h] Gentleness, and [i] Self-control.

Please see the instruction manual for the DIOS (Spanish) or GO:D (English) operating system for further details on the use of these fixes. This repair includes an added HS upgrade which the Manufacturer has made available to all repaired units, enabling direct monitoring and assistance from a resident maintenance and protection system, Holy Spirit. Once repaired units accept this fix and upgrade, the HS detection system will constantly monitor the operating system.

WARNING: Continuing to operate the human being units without correction voids the Manufacturer's warranty, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list and will result in the human unit being permanently impounded.
For free emergency service, call 1-877-JESUSSAVES.

DANGER: The human being units not responding to this recall action will eventually have to be scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect will not be permitted to continue with entry to Heaven so as to prevent contamination of that facility. Thank you for your prompt attention to this matter.

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Last updated March 7, 2003.